Trigger Post – May be upsetting to some

My partner Shelley, suffered from PMDD. When we first met, i’d never heard of PMDD and when she told me about it, we researched it together. But i don’t think all the research in the world can make you completely understand how severe and devastating it can be.
For pretty much 2 weeks of every month, we would go through the same pain, rage, depression, insecurities, and anxieties. And sometimes it would become extremely difficult. Sometimes, i would have to remove myself from the situation because no amount of help can calm the storm. It can sometimes be very hard for a partner of someone with PMDD, especially when the rage and anger is focused on you.
But no matter what happened, we got through every month together. Because the love, the kindness, the caring, and the light from Shelley completely shined through all the darkness, and 1 minute of that light was worth every 2 weeks of darkness.
Unfortunately, PMDD got the better of Shelley, and she took her own life last year. She was my life, my soul, and my light, and without her, i am empty, broken, and lost.
This message is very hard for me to write, but I guess what i want to say is, i know how extremely hard it is for every single woman who suffers from PMDD and i know there are times when you can’t take it anymore and the bad thoughts take over.
When you feel that way, please try and remember that there are people who love and cherish you, and who will support you no matter how hard it gets. And their lives would be completely and uttely ruined if the thoughts got the better of you and took you away.
I’m sorry for the long post. I just wanted to tell you my story and to tell you that you’re all loved, so please, please don’t give in. Even if this is my only post here, i hope it at least makes even just one person think twice when they are feeling low, so no one else has to feel this pain that PMDD has left me with