Its true, the past year has been difficult, but when I look back and see how far I have come over the last 45 years I can say that there have been many difficult times and I have mastered them all my own way with a little help from my friends. Thanks to my life I have incredible people in my life always.
Life has taught me all about impermanence, nothing lasts forever, life is ever changing.
The loss of the gorgeous Corina this year after her hard and fierce battle against her brain tumour, well…. it saw her live almost 2 years beyond what they expected and boy did she pack as much as she could in those months. Now when opportunity comes knocking, I am all for it. Because some of us don’t get to pass up on life anymore. Count me in.
Create a page or group? Count me in, start a blog count me in. From a page I created 11 years ago called Angelic Inspiration which is now called Fionas Inspired Journey, thanks to an American Lady who had copyrighted the words Angel Inspiration which meant the name had to be changed which took years and it also meant I was cut off from thousands of people who followed me from the USA. These days I am glad of the lesson, appreciate what you have! It also gave me some very good friends Rebecca, Bob and so so many others and set a foundation. I still use the page and I am glad I didn’t delete it.
Almost 4 years ago I created a Facebook Group for people who like myself live with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It has 22.000 plus members to date and is growing daily. I also have some moderators who support me as its a very heavy going disorder with some incredibly difficult posts to comb through. I know it helps people and long may this continue.
April 18th, 2020 is another significant time that made a world of difference to my life. It was the day I asked Heidi Swain if I could create a Facebook Book Club for her, she readily agreed and my girl Sue was super happy about the Idea. I quickly asked her to be my Co Admin and the rest as they say is History. About a year in the name was changed to include & Friends – A Facebook Book Club as we began to showcase other authors and have gorgeous and popular online publication parties. Sue is amazing with her party games, I do a lot of behind the scenes things and created my author Q and A and Author FactFile off the back of our parties.
I couldn’t tell you how many signed books I now have, and so many beautiful acknowledgements, as well as author friends and club friends / family. Heidi Swain, Sue Baker, Grace Power, Honey Harrison, Emma Hawkes, Claire Brooks, Jaimie Admans, Jenni Keer, Clare Marchant, Rosie Hendry, Isabella May, Meena Kumari, Jessica Redland, Lisa Hobman, Sarah Bennett, Catherine Miller, Abi Yardimci, Lizzie Chantree and Maureen and so very many others. Don’t be offended if you my book people have been left off the list, it’s not intentional but I also want to finish this blog some time soon 😊☺😉😄
Love, well I definitely love myself more than I did 12 months ago, I love my parents, step mum (yes! I do), my family as crazy and disjointed it may be and my German family…hello Oma, Peter, Nicole, Sandra, Frank, Christine, Stefan, former teachers and a zillion others who love me no matter how incredibly outrageous I can get, most of all I love my Beanie who has been my inspiration to be the best me I can be since he was born in 2003. Ah, a big shout out to my American Family. Took me a while to accept what I couldn’t not change but I got there.
Yes, family. My army family. I love and don’t love you in equal measures but I will always treasure you for putting some discipline and determination into my rather wild personality. I also love that I now get to raise funds for the RBL every year and lay a wreath too, on Remembrance Sunday.
Doors also closed on some friendships, most significantly over the last 5 years Sebastian, Perosh, Tracey, Charles, Melanie, Danie, Laura, Mel etc. Let me say I appreciate what worked and learned from what didn’t. Life is ever changing Impermanence, if everything stayed the same, we could never learn and grow or stand taller than the tallest Tree.
I blog, yes, I blog. I have a good friendship with my Broski DeeJ. I have hopes and goals. I am standing by my boy whilst he completes college, I promised him I would always be there when he needs me and I haven’t broken that promise once. Autism touches many lives and boy it’s been a journey. (Another story for another time, ha, so many many stories)
Forgiveness is key, I recently contacted someone I was incredibly mean to and have always carried much guilt and shame around with me because of that. I tried to blame my mum, my dad and anyone and anything else for being slightly unlikeable, only who knew that Food, High Fodmap, High Histamine and Hormones ( Hello Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) could heavily impact who you are? It took a lot of Introspection. Thank you HP or MHS whichever you prefer. One day I will write a book about it and it will be dedicated to you and BTGS. Well, his reaction was many things but it wasn’t what I had anticipated. I didn’t get sent to hell, I didn’t get sworn at and I wasn’t made to feel bad at all. If anything there was disbelief that I had carried this *baggage* with me all these years. Its been 20 to be precise.
So, 2022? In my mind I am going to do 30 mins of fitness tomorrow lol. Will I? I have my beautiful people Becky well, that’s another serendipitous story, Dot ( I stalk her daily lol ) and Champus Fran in my day to day life. Fran has got me into all these fancy sheet masks. In fact how all three women came into my life is all down to chance and destiny. I will grab the opportunities and strive to be my best me each and every day.
As Denise Linn would say: ‘The Soul Loves The Truth’ I wish you love, health and success, whatever that means to you.
Thanks for reading and riding the wave of life with me. This is my song for 2022.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=JU4qyhCP8iw&feature=share
I will be adding more pics as I work my way through them.
Love you all, Fiona xx
Inspired by my PMDD 