You know in life people will only consider your negatives above all the good you have done in life.

Those types of people are best steered  clear of.

Its true! A month or so ago I was left in a position where I had to get some moderators for my group, to help me in case there were imminent threats to someone’s life.

Right from the get go,  I had selected a mismatched group of people. They didn’t suit me and I didn’t suit them.

Over the last week tensions grew, the pressures got too much for me. As well as some idea that I have to babysit 17.100 members of my group.

That should never be the responsibility of any person who creates a group.

I had never resented looking at posts as much as I had last week.

A lady who was overweight wanted trigger warning for diet posts.

A lady wanted a picture removed because it scared her.

On top of people who want to talk about illegal drugs and legal ones but illegal elsewhere in the world. It is a lot to manoeuvre.

Do I need help? Of course, I have pmdd too, and I am only human.

Thing is just because you create and administer a support group,  people seem to think that you are some kind of sub human.

In fact it was set up in a way that it wasn’t meant to be micro managed and up until recently, it hadn’t even been necessary.

Anyway. Things got a bit much and I left our chat group. With that came some passive aggressive fakeness. To which I removed all moderators. The two key people then tried to rejoin, I let one in, because clearly between the two, they had a point to make.

What was the point? Well, they had created a new group which is love and real compassion, any small group can be anything. The implications clearly being that I am unloving and unkind and am not compassionate. To me, that was the bad energy I had felt that whole week.

I run a group of 17.100 people. It’s grown in size by 12.000 people in just over 12 months.

I didn’t spam pages, I didn’t belittle anyone else, and I certainly didn’t taunt people to get my group to grow. It came about on its own.

There was a young non binary person, who hadn’t come out yet. I was understanding and compassionate and encouraging, for their birthday I even initiated a PayPal gift which others then did too.

I got private messages from people, who were cross with their moderating . Often I didn’t even tell them about it.

If you know me, I am a really kind, generous and supportive person and I work incredibly hard on myself. Being ex army, I don’t suffer fools gladly.

Being 44, I also don’t feel like I need to over dramatically create an environment where no one takes responsibility for themselves. Being offended by the slightest thing seems to be a modern trend. It’s wrong.

So, in many ways, to people who love to be offended by the slightest thing, I am not a good match.

I now have a more suited set of moderators and my gorgeous Sue is one of them.

To the Two the people who used to be mods and now run their own pmdd loving and compassionate group, you are welcome.

To the members of my group, try moderating an insanely large group, then cast judgement.

I am kinda expecting links and derogatory comments to appear.

Fiona x

Something good has to come after something bad.