Into the Wind – let it – set it free. The end of silence.

I know it’s been almost a year since I closed down an online book-club.

It was one random lockdown day that I out of nowhere asked if I could open a book-club and was granted permission, I instantly engaged someone who posted their excitement as admin. To be fair we knew nothing of each other.

It was a random day in October 2023 that the adventure ended.

It hadn’t been fun or right for a long time. I’d also engaged in a lot of personal setbacks and battles, health worries and deaths.

I didn’t enjoy being co admin anymore. I didn’t enjoy being nice to people who were not nice to me, yes fellow book lovers, blog tour organisers and authors can be quite something.

Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware I can be a complete admin nightmare and bitch to boot.

Once I have given too much, and I don’t enjoy the trap I set myself, my soul will scream to be free.

Especially when I feel I am being constantly drowned out. It’s no fun. It was meant to be fun.

What do we do when something is no longer fun? We need to end the situation.

How? A big argument, two on one side, me on the other. Indeed. So, I offered to leave after a certain date, they’d decided they were leaving. Well, I didn’t want to keep something that I no longer enjoyed and if they’d cared that much they wouldn’t have decided to leave.

The end.

One by one I released every single member, it took me a few hours spread over two days.

I saw people take sides, I don’t ask anyone to take sides. I released friendships and connections and wandered off creating a new something.

If you got this far, let me tell you there were some amazing times, amazing connections and friendships and some incredible experiences. I also appreciate some of the care and support I received from my fellow admin. However, our dislike was stronger than our like and I am fully at peace with it.

I kept some incredible friends.

It was the best thing to happen, I have not once regretted that it happened.

I didn’t steer the narrative, and I kept my head down and minded my business.

If I could do it all again would I? No, not on your nelly.

I’ll only blogtour for actual publishers and authors, I’d never again line the pockets of an independent tour organiser only to be treated like dirt.

Free to be me, I don’t feel bad about blocking people. Feel free to block me if it brings you peace. Or Unfriend me, it’s all good.

Why don’t I offer author lives anymore? Well, that’s more to protect the author given I have blocked some of their core audience who will complain about it. It’s not the authors fault I don’t engage with some of their readers. If someone wants a live, ask. I don’t mind waffling to myself either.

Why didn’t I open another book club???

‘GIRLLLLLL!!!!! I didn’t enjoy that the first time round, and who needs to be in competition with someone else in that way? Nah, I have my PMDD Group and my Spiritual Page, my Instagram and my Blog, I’ve a life, a son and my two cats, my health conditions and my friends who mean the world to me, some I’d ride or die for, some I wouldn’t’.

What’s next? I’ve a lot of health things happening that are being dealt with, I enjoy my creative writing course and I am looking forward to 2025 as well as being a carer for my son. More about PMDD, Menopause and Hypermobility.

Thank you everyone past, present and future. The good, the bad and the ugly, it’s all as it should be.

Why did I write this now? Now is the right time for me.

Much Love, Fiona